Behavior is Communication
(Listening through a somatic lens…)
We’ve been taught to correct behavior.
To label it as “good” or “bad.”
To discipline the outbursts, reward the obedience, and manage the meltdowns.
But here’s what body-wise parenting reminds us:
Behavior is communication.
It’s the body speaking when words can’t.
It’s the nervous system asking for something—
Safety. Connection. Freedom. Regulation. Rest.
That tantrum?
It might be a “no” that couldn’t come out with words.
That defiance?
It might be a boundary being built,
or a nervous system that’s tired of being overpowered.
That silence?
Might be protection. Or processing. Or peace.
So instead of reacting with punishment or urgency, try asking:
“What is this behavior trying to say?”
“What is their body asking for right now?”
Small shifts can make a big difference:
☀️ Instead of: “Stop yelling!”
☀️Try: “Your voice is really loud—are you needing space, or are you trying to be heard?”
(This invites awareness rather than shame.)
🌸 Instead of: “Go to your room until you can calm down.”
🌸 Try: “Do you want me to stay close while you feel this, or do you want quiet time by yourself?”
(This gives agency and co-regulation instead of exile.)
When your own body is overwhelmed:
🕯️Try: “I hear that you have big feelings right now. My body is feeling overwhelmed by the noise. I’m going to take a few breaths and then I’ll be ready to listen better.”
(This models self-awareness, nervous system honesty, and respectful boundary setting.)
When we shift from “How do I stop this behavior?”
to “How can I help their body feel safe enough to soften?”— everything changes.
We stop managing. We start witnessing.
We stop punishing. We start supporting.
We stop fearing. We start trusting.
The body always speaks.
Our job isn’t to silence it.
It’s to listen with our whole self.
To hear what’s underneath.
To meet the need instead of fighting the symptom.
To raise humans who know that their whole selves—even the messy, loud, wild parts—are worthy of love.
